And The Hits Keep Coming

 Nine Months...

This is how long you have been gone. This is how long I have lived without you.

We have a new grandson! He was born three days ago. He looks like you and our youngest son. You would be busting your buttons and bragging to anyone who would listen about him if you were here.

You would also love his birth date because you loved cool dates. He was born on 7-7-22. (7722) Oh, and although he was born in Alaska at 4PM and I was in KY visiting and helping my parents and it was 9 PM, his Uncle Chewy lives in TX and it was 7PM so... you would have said he was born on 7-7-22 at 7PM TX time! (I know you!)

It is still so very hard without you. I'm getting better. Or so I tell myself and others. But it is scary and hard looking at such a long future ahead without you in it. Trying to imagine what I am to do with the rest of my life without you. How to make decisions, what I need to do, what I even want to do! There was nothing I wanted or dreamed of doing without you being a part of it and now I can't seem to think of anything I want to be or do without you there. 

Everything seems empty and flat without you here. I find myself mentioning you, talking about you, saying your name and referencing you all the time and I know it makes a lot of people uncomfortable, but I can't seem to stop and honestly, I don't want to stop! For if I stop it somehow feels like I'm moving on and leaving you behind and I don't think I'm ready to do that yet.

I have in some small ways but mentally I'm just not ready...

So once again, "I love you my Darling!"