And The Hits Keep Coming

 Christmas Alone

You have been gone 14 months, 2 weeks and 1 day. And yet in a lot of ways this year Christmas is harder than last year. Last Christmas it was still so new and fresh. So soon after losing you. Andrew had just had his Birthday and we were all worried about each other, so everyone was checking on each other and so it was almost too full and too busy for me to even pause and think and that was hard.

But this year it is all empty and hollow and alone and that is so very hard! Of course I smile and tell everyone that, No. I'm fine! But. It really is so very hard and so lonely. I miss you so much! And the hours, days, weeks, months and years without you stretch out before me endlessly without you and I don't know how I am going to get through them.

I mean I KNOW I'm going to get through them one day at a time and God is with me and is helping me walk this lonesome path. That's not what I mean. I just mean that at times the emptiness of walking it alone. Not being by your side where I belong seems impossible to my poor little brain.

Oh! My Christmas present this year... Merry Christmas my Love! You are going to be a Grandpa again! Grandbaby #6 is on its way! I know you would have been beside yourself with Joy at this news and I'm not allowed to tell anyone for three more months so I'm telling you! They are a bit in shock at the moment and not telling till she is past the first trimester, just in case of a miscarriage. But yeah, Merry Christmas, My Sweet WB!

Love, 

HB